People Who Talk Loud On Cell Phones

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. You’re in a store, and you hear a phone ring. Someone picks it up and starts talking… LOUDLY. You look up to see who this incredibly irritating person is but can’t find them. You follow the sound of their loud voice and listen to them talk about their friend sleeping with a guy she doesn’t even know. Five aisles later, you find them. You watch them go along with their shopping as they continue to share with everyone that her new boyfriend has a small penis. You want to run up to them and smack them with their own phone so they shut up or at least stop talking on the phone so loudly.

What is wrong with people? Why must people talk so vociferously on cell phones while they‘re in public places? (Indy used that word this morning and I thought it was a good word so that’s why I used it) Is it really necessary to let everyone know what’s going on in your life by talking so loudly? What if the person you were talking about where in the same store? They could be three aisles over and they could probably still hear you and you wouldn’t know.

I’m sure all of us have talked on the phone loudly at least once. It happens, I understand that. There are people who do it on a normal basis that either don’t know they’re doing it or do know and don’t give a fuck about people around them and still do it anyways. If I’m out with a friend and she does it, I tap them and politely say that she‘s talking a little too loud and maybe she should bring it down a bit. If she doesn’t listen then I kindly remind her that everyone in the store just found out she’s a whore because of the loud conversation she just had on the phone.

So, I end by dedicating this to the lady on aisle 7 who was talking annoyingly loud on her phone this morning at Ralph’s:

No one gives a damn that your friend slept with a random guy and doesn’t remember his name or that your new boyfriend has a small penis. You are pathetic. You need to realize that everyone in Ralph’s heard you talking and wanted to kill you. You are annoying as hell and you should be banned from using a cell phone because one day someone will come up to you and pull a Naomi Campbell on you. So, stop talking so loudly on your phone. It’s for your own good.