D@mn Sarah Jessica Parker

Yes, you heard me. Damn Sarah Jessica Parker.

My friend’s sister is a die hard Sex and the City psycho fanatic and I am disgusted at what she asked me to do. She asked me to make her a dress for her wedding in a few months like Sarah Jessica Parker wore in the Sex and the City movie.

The first thing that popped into my head: “What the fuck?!?!?!?!”

Obviously, I told her that I was sorry but making that dress is against everything I believe in and no amount of money she offered would make me change my mind.

For all you weird Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex and the City lovers, I apologize, but I have a mouthful to say right now.

I honestly don’t understand how people could watch Sex and the City. It’s not because of the show itself, but because of Sarah Jessica Parker. How can anyone concentrate on watching the show when all you can see is the giant wart on her face. It’s hideous. I tried watching the show a few times with my friends but I couldn’t concentrate because of the hideous wart (and her bad acting skills). Just look at that face.

I hate it when people say she’s so pretty. I’m sorry, but she is not pretty. She’s the opposite of pretty. On a scale of 1 to 10, then being the prettiest, she’d be a -10. I mean, look at her.

Those arms freak me out. It’s not natural for a woman to have arms like that (but it is for a man, wink).

And if you still aren’t freaked out by her, I’m sure this will.

Try saying she’s pretty now.

All of this went on in my head all at once when I was asked to make the dress but I kept my mouth shut and told her it was lot of work and I was going through a difficult time with my family so I wasn’t really up for it (and none of this was a lie). She understood and didn’t make a big deal about it.

I was relieved because not only do I not like Sarah Jessica Parker, but I wasn’t really fond of the dress. It looks so wrong. It is wrong. It looks, messy, they shouldn’t have used two different colors, pointy thing should not be coming out from her boobs (or from under her armpits), and why the fuck are the turquoise feathers doing on her head.

I just want to end my rant by saying that I am not my view on Sex and the City would be a lot different if Sarah Jessica Parker. I also want to say that I don’t hate Sarah Jessica Parker, I just don’t understand why people like her. I don’t think movie people like her either, because how many great movies has she come out in?