Shut Up Frodo!
Yes, I'm talking about Frodo from Lord of the Rings.
Last night, I encountered one of the most annoying people I have ever met. As you may have read in one of my previous blogs, I work at a steak house in Beverly Hills that only opens for dinner (unless you have a group of at least 40, then they'll open for lunch especially for you). I get to encounter different types of people, but none of them compare to Frodo. From the moment he sat at my table, I knew he was going to be trouble.
I hadn't really gotten a good look at him until I got to the table. He had dark curly hair, big light blue eyes, and a funny looking smile. The first thing I saw him do when I got to the table was lean over and check out my ass very indiscreetly (all I wanted to do was say, "yes, I have a big ass, now get over it and order so I can bring you your food and then you can leave"). Like usual, I had to smile (mandatory), pretend I didn't notice, and carry on with my waitressing duties(my usual routine when it came to dealing with these kind of situations at work).
I got the two cokes for him and his friend (who I could tell was getting annoyed by Frodo) and when I brought them to their table, everything was an innuendo (and it got really old, really fast). "I 'C' you have two cups." Insert mandatory fake smile (now stop looking at my boobs or I'll throw this drink in your face). And after many annoying innuendos (and many fake smiles from me), it was time for their dinner order. He turned to take one last look at his menu, and then I saw it:
His ears. His funny looking pointy ears that stuck out from his dark curly hair when he looked down at the menu. Frodo. Now I had a real smile on my face.
He ordered the 8 oz. steak (the smallest we have), and I thought of something brilliant. "An 8 oz," I said. "That's it? That's tiny. Come on, you can handle something bigger. Look, your friend is getting the 14 oz." I flashed a giant smile at his friend (he got my signal). Frodo looked upset. Had I hurt his feeling.
It was now a challenge:
He ordered the 20 oz. instead (fake smile).
His friend changed his to 26 oz (big real smile because he was going along with it).
Frodo was left with no choice but the order the biggest steak on our menu: The 40 oz. (now I was really smiling and trying not to laugh).
After bringing them their steaks, I stopped by every chance I could to see Frodo (who still didn't stop hitting on me) struggling with the giant steak he stupidly ordered. I saw him struggling not even half way through (another brilliant idea popped into my head). "Too big for you?." When he heard this, his eyes lit up and he continued eating (I knew he was too cocky to leave that steak unfinished). His friend turned to hide his face because he was having a hard time containing his laughter (every so often I had heard his friend making fun of Frodo for being an idiot).
I kept stopping by to flash Frodo an encouraging smile as he looked sicker and sicker by the minute. I waited for the inevitable. An hour after he had started eating the giant steak, it finally happened:
I saw Frodo get up and quickly head for the bathroom with his hand to his mouth. Success!
I went over to the table to thank his very hot friend for going along with it and found him laugh hysterically. He explained that Frodo (apparently named Jackson), was a very cocky guy who always acted like this with girls and he was glad I made him throw up.
Frodo came back, embarrassed, and finally stopped hitting on me.
He paid the close to $160 bill (40 oz. = $79. What an idiot), and his friend left me $50 tip along with his number (yes!).
The moral of this story is:
Don't mess with your waitress if your cocky because she will make you throw up.
Last night, I encountered one of the most annoying people I have ever met. As you may have read in one of my previous blogs, I work at a steak house in Beverly Hills that only opens for dinner (unless you have a group of at least 40, then they'll open for lunch especially for you). I get to encounter different types of people, but none of them compare to Frodo. From the moment he sat at my table, I knew he was going to be trouble.
I hadn't really gotten a good look at him until I got to the table. He had dark curly hair, big light blue eyes, and a funny looking smile. The first thing I saw him do when I got to the table was lean over and check out my ass very indiscreetly (all I wanted to do was say, "yes, I have a big ass, now get over it and order so I can bring you your food and then you can leave"). Like usual, I had to smile (mandatory), pretend I didn't notice, and carry on with my waitressing duties(my usual routine when it came to dealing with these kind of situations at work).
I got the two cokes for him and his friend (who I could tell was getting annoyed by Frodo) and when I brought them to their table, everything was an innuendo (and it got really old, really fast). "I 'C' you have two cups." Insert mandatory fake smile (now stop looking at my boobs or I'll throw this drink in your face). And after many annoying innuendos (and many fake smiles from me), it was time for their dinner order. He turned to take one last look at his menu, and then I saw it:
His ears. His funny looking pointy ears that stuck out from his dark curly hair when he looked down at the menu. Frodo. Now I had a real smile on my face.
He ordered the 8 oz. steak (the smallest we have), and I thought of something brilliant. "An 8 oz," I said. "That's it? That's tiny. Come on, you can handle something bigger. Look, your friend is getting the 14 oz." I flashed a giant smile at his friend (he got my signal). Frodo looked upset. Had I hurt his feeling.
It was now a challenge:
He ordered the 20 oz. instead (fake smile).
His friend changed his to 26 oz (big real smile because he was going along with it).
Frodo was left with no choice but the order the biggest steak on our menu: The 40 oz. (now I was really smiling and trying not to laugh).
After bringing them their steaks, I stopped by every chance I could to see Frodo (who still didn't stop hitting on me) struggling with the giant steak he stupidly ordered. I saw him struggling not even half way through (another brilliant idea popped into my head). "Too big for you?." When he heard this, his eyes lit up and he continued eating (I knew he was too cocky to leave that steak unfinished). His friend turned to hide his face because he was having a hard time containing his laughter (every so often I had heard his friend making fun of Frodo for being an idiot).
I kept stopping by to flash Frodo an encouraging smile as he looked sicker and sicker by the minute. I waited for the inevitable. An hour after he had started eating the giant steak, it finally happened:
I saw Frodo get up and quickly head for the bathroom with his hand to his mouth. Success!
I went over to the table to thank his very hot friend for going along with it and found him laugh hysterically. He explained that Frodo (apparently named Jackson), was a very cocky guy who always acted like this with girls and he was glad I made him throw up.
Frodo came back, embarrassed, and finally stopped hitting on me.
He paid the close to $160 bill (40 oz. = $79. What an idiot), and his friend left me $50 tip along with his number (yes!).
The moral of this story is:
Don't mess with your waitress if your cocky because she will make you throw up.
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