My Silly Black Eye

A long time ago, someone invented pain.  If you trip and split your knee wide open on a rock, it hurts.  If you're ice skating and skate full blast right into the railing, it hurts.  I have come to peace with the concept of pain, but what I don't understand are black eyes.  It's one thing if you get into a fight with an eight year old for stealing your apple pie, but why must I be punished with such a hideous thing for walking into a semi opened door.  I mean, that door came out of nowhere.  I know people say that, but this door really did come out of nowhere.  I just came into my room really quick to get something, I turned, and BOOM, the edge of the door was right there.  Now when people see my weird looking eye, I have to tell them about how I walked into a door.